Texas Wisdom

Texas Wisdom

"Vegetarian" is another old Indian word for BAD Hunter!

Texas is the finest portion of the globe that ever blessed my vision. -- Sam HoustonCR "Dammit" Flowers

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Nobody but cattle know why they stampede and they ain't talking.

One good sharp knife is worth two of almost anything else, except women and horses, of course.

Any man who says he's not scared of nuthin' ain't never stepped on a rattlesnake.

Freedom of Speech - You can speak your mind and say whatever you want  as long as you have a fast horse near by!

Always feed your horses and take time for your friends.

A good horse is never a bad color.

A pair of six-shooters beats a pair of aces.

Learn to speak kind words--nobody resents them.

Careful is a naked man climbing a barbed wire fence.

Don't wear woolly chaps in sheep country during the breeding season.

Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule or a cook.

An old timer is a man who's had a lot of interesting experiences -- some of them true.

Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around, we use our fingers." --Will Rogers

Keep the cook happy. - Wilkie Wiltshire  1899 - 1962

A poor ride ( meaning a horse or mule} is better than a proud walk! - Beula Wiltshire 1905 - 1983

There are 3 kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for
themselves if it's really hot.

Politicians, are like cock roaches, its not that they do anything bad,  it is what they step in and mess up which is the problem! -- John Henry Faulk
Translation: Politicians in general

Leery - "This old crow has eaten enough field corn to know scarecrows sometimes carry shotguns....I've

robbed enough nests to know you can't enjoy eggs if you're picking buckshot out of your behind."

Be discreet - "Don’t make love by the garden gate because even if love is blind, the neighbors ain’t."

Be quiet - "A closed mouth gathers no foot......You don’t have to explain what you don’t say......Every fish ever caught had his mouth open."

Inevitable - "The girls get better looking when it's almost closing time....Every turkey has his Thanksgiving."

Impossible - "Two pounds of manure won't fit in a one-pound sack....Can't put a duck egg in an eagle's nest
and get an eagle.....can't pole vault with a pitchfork."

Rare Meat - "The brand is still smoking....Seen a cow cut worse than this get well.....If I got caught eating this in someone else's pasture, I'd go to jail for rustling."

Old Person - "The Dead Sea wasn't even on the critical list when he was born.....He's living on borrowed time and three payments are past due."

Ugly Female - "When she was a baby, her daddy had to tie a T-bone steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.....Her husband would rather stay
home than kiss her good-bye....She has to slap her legs to get them to go to bed with her...She'd make a freight train take a dirt road."

Ugly Male - "When he was a baby his mother fed him with a slingshot....his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church."

"No man in the wrong can stand up against a fellow that's in the right an keeps on a-comin." -creed of Texas Ranger Captain W. J. McDonald

"You just trot your own horse and don't get into the same rut  as everyone else!" -- John Ed Patter - Grandfather of Sen. Barbra Jordan

The Buzzard is the only animal that will eat his friends!

 At some point in your life, you are going to step in some crap, have it dumped on you or even thrown at you! But, take heart pardner, stay your course and always remember...Crap is water soluble!   - CR Flowers

Any day your on this side of the dirt, its a good day!

There is four things a feller needs to have  in this life, God, a  Good Wife, a Good Horse and a Good Gun!  CR Flowers